Being Happy

So... I was talking to a friend and I am sitting here thinking. Why is anyone ever concerned about anyone else's happiness? Now let me stop you there... your children-- BE CONCERNED, your spouse BE CONCERNED, your parents- BE CONCERNED, your siblings--- ehhh borderline concerned because as long as they are not physically harmed its none of your business.

Here is the thing about life and maybe its my introvert coming out.... life is not made to worry about someone elses happiness, its to find your own happiness...wow, I mean what about that, finding your own happiness! This doesnt mean what you think it means, it doesnt mean "mind your own business" (although...ummm when you find your own happiness this surely follows). Finding your own happiness means you allow others to find theirs as well. You can be their shoulder you can be their therapist IF THEY ASK. Otherwise their happiness has no room for your suggestions. And your happiness doesnt have room for their inputs.

Stop believing that another person is unhappy just because YOU desire something different in YOUR life. If you cant stand the thought of having kids and your friend loves kids and gets pregnant every year--- guess whose happiness that affects??? NOT YOURS!!!! If your friend never ever wants to have kids and you are a mother and are in awe of every piss and poop your kids make then be happy and leave that non wanting kids friend alone! And oh I wont even get on relationships! There are people in this world who NEED a mate to be happy--- guess what, you still aint happy. You are throwing your happiness onto making someone else happy and that person may not give 5 cents if you are happy, but had you found your own happiness BEFORE the relationship, then and only then will you find happiness within one. And all you people in a relationship who THINK your single friends are "missing out", nope, its because YOU feel like YOU are missing out. You want them in bondage just like you, lmao! Truth is, when you are in a relationship that you are completely happy in, you dont care if your friends are single or not, they go out and you turn over in bed and are in love with the life you have. Oh you want to do couples night cause you miss your friend? Have a girls night of drinks.

People in great relationships, like to see others in great relationships, BUT they dont particularly care if you are IN a relationship, they just cant stand if you are in a BAD one. Now dont get this twisted as the whole, single people love to ruin relationships. Its not that kind of advice, it just means they have found their happiness, and they know what it looks like. Example... I have a friend in a marriage and we do gather as couples sometimes and I cant stand it, they are great people individually, however as a couple next to each other, the rolling of the eyes, the borderline disrespect, the constant including us in on the "horrible" days of marriage-- UGH, no Im sorry, we DONT know what thats like, No Im sorry he doesnt call me out my name, no Im sorry I would never talk to him that way in front of people. Happiness doesnt equal marriage and marriage doesnt equal happiness. But as a couple you should find your happiness together.

Single ladies, all my single ladies, put your hands up, and yes I did the little switching of the hips with that! lol! But seriously, find your happiness alone first, this is coming from a person who had to do it herself, who had to recognize her own worth, spend time alone and get it together! Once you are happy and you want to date, great, but guess who cant date the wall???? Oh yeah that advise you didnt think I was going to give huh? Go! Get out! Explore your happiness with the world! Only then will you be able to meet someone that isnt on a poster on your wall :) (this advise is particularly for  a Houston friend who never leaves the house yet wants a relationship)

Now back to being happy.... sorry, got off on relationships for a moment... anywoo being happy... being happy feels wonderful, and you do tend to forget if your other friends arent, your mind is filled with your life and your goals. You spend time with friends you help them when needed but at the end of the day, their issues dont keep you awake (again these are non abusive issues). This doesnt mean you dont care, this doesnt mean you are never there for anyone else, in fact it includes all that, because your personal happiness has allowed you a clearer outlook on life, a way to be there FOR others. Spend time with yourself! Stop giving unasked for advise and for goodness sake NEVER EVER EVER tell someone what they need to be happy, cause you dont know! Find your own happiness and let them find theirs. And for heavens sake... alone time can be some of the happiest moments!!! Lonely is when you need someone..dont be lonely be happy!